1️⃣ Talking At Children Instead of Talking With Them
Example:
A toddler keeps asking questions:
Mommy, why? “Daddy, what is that?”
Response: Keep quiet! Small pikin with too much mouth.
What happens: Curiosity is treated as noise.
Later: You complain: “They don’t talk to me.” They hide things.
Reality: Children who are silenced early stop sharing later.
2️⃣ Using Fear as the First Tool of Correction
Example:
A 3-year-old spills water.
You shout: “Are you mad? See nonsense!”
What the child learns: Mistakes = danger.
Later: They lie, hide, or freeze when wrong.
Truth: Fear may bring silence, but it never teaches responsibility.
3️⃣ Comparing Them Too Early
Example:
“See your cousin, same age, already counting.”
“Why are you like this?”
What happens: The child feels defective, not motivated.
Later: Low self-esteem, jealousy, people-pleasing.
Truth: Comparison plants insecurity long before confidence can grow.
4️⃣ Doing Everything for Them
Example:
By age 5, you still:
– Feed them
– Dress them
– Pack their toys
– Tie their shoelaces
Reason: “Let me just do it quickly.”
Later: You complain: “They are lazy.” “They don’t help.”
Truth: Over-helping delays responsibility.
5️⃣ Laughing at Disrespect Because “They Are Small”
Example:
A toddler talks back or insults. Visitors laugh: “See boldness!”
What happens: Disrespect gets attention.
Later: You shout: “They have no respect!”
Truth: What you water early grows strong later.
6️⃣ Inconsistent Discipline
Example:
Today: “No jumping on the chair.”
Tomorrow: You ignore it.
Next day: You shout.
What the child learns: Rules depend on mood.
Later: They constantly test limits.
Truth: Children need consistency, not confusion.
7️⃣ Withholding Affection as Punishment**
**Example:
After correction, you ignore the child. No hugs. No reassurance.
Message received: Love disappears when I make mistakes.
Later: Emotional insecurity, fear of failure, approval-seeking.
Truth: Correction should never cancel connection.
8️⃣ Ignoring Emotional Needs
Example:
A child cries.
You say: “Stop crying!”“I’ll give you something to cry about.”
What happens: Feelings are suppressed, not healed.
Later: Anger issues, withdrawal, explosive emotions.
Truth: Unattended emotions don’t disappear — they grow.
9️⃣ Labeling the Child Instead of the Behavior
Example:
“You are stubborn.”
“You are troublesome.”
“You are not serious.”
What happens: The child accepts the label as identity.
Later: They live up to it — or fight it with rebellion.
Truth: Words spoken repeatedly become beliefs.
🔟 Expecting Adult Control from a Child Brain
Example:
“You should know better!”
“At your age, why are you acting like this?”
What happens: Unrealistic expectations meet undeveloped self-control.
Later: Shame, frustration, emotional shutdown.
Truth: Guidance develops maturity — pressure does not.
EduTimes Africa, a product of Education Times Africa, is a magazine publication that aims to lend its support to close the yawning gap in Africa's educational development.
