Parenting is one of the most important roles we take on in life, as it involves helping children grow up successfully and fulfilled. In efforts to secure the best possible future for them, parents sometimes make decisions based on experience and good intentions. However, certain common parenting habits may have unintended long-term consequences. These actions, though often driven by good intentions, can impact not only the child but also their friends, families, and society as a whole. A valuable perspective explored in this article is the experience gained by individuals who are both parents and teachers. This dual role offers insight into the challenges from both angles and highlights the need to strike a balance. In this piece, we examine various parenting practices to better understand how our choices shape our children’s futures and contribute to building a healthier, more resilient society.
Consequences of Overindulgence and Excessive Praise
In many households, parents shower their children with material goods and constant praise, believing this will lead to happiness and success. I observed this often while growing up. Although such gestures may bring short-term joy, overindulgence can foster a sense of entitlement and diminish appreciation for hard work. Children raised in these environments may struggle with the realities of adulthood, finding it difficult to cope with challenges or delayed gratification.
This reliance on instant rewards can also strain family finances if not properly managed, potentially leading to long-term debt. Likewise, excessive praise without constructive feedback can hinder emotional development, leaving children unprepared to deal with failure or criticism.
To address this, parents should emphasize the importance of hard work, patience, and resilience. Setting clear boundaries and encouraging children to learn from their mistakes instills values that prepare them to face life’s challenges with confidence and a strong sense of responsibility.
The Dangers of Micro-management and Blurred Boundaries
In today’s world, many parents believe that micromanaging their children’s lives ensures success and safety. However, this overbearing approach often stifles independence and decision-making skills, leading to children who struggle with anxiety and a lack of confidence. Furthermore, when parents prioritize being their child’s “best friend” over maintaining an authoritative and respectful role, they undermine their ability to guide and teach effectively.
Without clear boundaries, children may fail to develop respect for authority, resulting in behavioral issues that weaken both family cohesion and societal structure. The key to addressing these challenges lies in finding a balance between offering guidance and allowing children the freedom to make decisions and learn from their mistakes. Setting healthy boundaries and promoting independence help children develop essential life skills, enabling them to grow into responsible and confident individuals.
Pitfalls of Overload and Avoidance Deep-rooted Conversations
In the pursuit of academic, athletic, and social success, many parents over-schedule their children, believing it will give them an edge in life. However, this attitude of overload leaves little room for relaxation or quality family time, ultimately causing stress and exhaustion.
At the same time, avoiding in-depth conversations about life’s inevitable challenges—such as failure, financial struggles, or loss—may deprive children of the emotional tools they need to navigate life. Without these discussions, children may grow up ill-equipped to handle setbacks or process complex emotions, making them vulnerable in future relationships.
Parents should strive to strike a balance in their children’s schedules, allowing room for downtime and engaging in open, honest conversations about life’s challenges.
Dangers of Overprotection and Unhealthy Comparisons
Some parents, driven by love and a desire to protect their children, shield them from failure or disappointment, believing they are preventing emotional harm. We’ve seen parents confront school management over trivial matters on behalf of their children.
However, failure is a powerful teacher, and children who are never allowed to face adversity may struggle when confronted with real-world challenges later in life.
Similarly, comparing children to others—whether in academics, behavior, or appearance—often leads to feelings of inadequacy and diminished self-esteem. Instead of encouraging personal growth, such comparisons teach children to measure their worth against others, breeding insecurity and fostering a competitive rather than collaborative environment.
To counter this, parents should allow their children to experience setbacks and celebrate their unique strengths. Encouraging a focus on personal progress rather than comparison helps build confidence, emotional resilience, and adaptability—qualities essential for thriving in today’s diverse and dynamic world.
Dangers of Giving in and Financial Illiteracy
In their desire to make their children happy, many parents give in to every request, fostering a sense of entitlement. While this approach may offer temporary satisfaction, it often results in behavioral problems such as greed or even stealing.
Additionally, parents who fail to teach their children the value of money—and how difficult it is to earn—create a false sense of family wealth. This illusion can lead to a disconnect from reality, leaving children unprepared to manage finances as they grow older.
A lack of financial education can result in poor money management, debt, and long-term economic instability. To address this, parents must set clear boundaries and teach children the importance of saving, budgeting, and delayed gratification. By promoting self-reliance and financial literacy, parents can equip their children with the skills needed to thrive in a rapidly changing economy, while fostering a culture of responsibility and sustainability.
Breaking Boundaries, Relationship Models, and Unrealistic Expectations
Respecting children’s privacy and personal boundaries is essential for building trust and supporting emotional development, especially in the later stages of childhood. Parents who neglect these boundaries risk damaging their relationship with their children and hindering their ability to form healthy relationships in adulthood.
That said, this is age-sensitive: young children should not be given excessive privacy, as doing so may cause parents to lose touch with what’s happening in their lives. Likewise, when parents fail to model healthy communication, conflict resolution, and mutual respect, children are likely to replicate those negative patterns in their own relationships.
In addition, parents who create unrealistic expectations of constant happiness and perfection set their children up for disappointment when they inevitably encounter life’s challenges. To address these concerns, parents must strike a balance—respecting their children’s privacy while offering age-appropriate guidance, modeling healthy relationships, and preparing them realistically for the complexities of life.
Balancing Well-being, Achievement, and Real-Life Challenges
Many parents sacrifice their own health to support their children, believing it is for the greater good. However, neglecting their own well-being often leads to burnout, illness, and other challenges, making it more difficult to nurture their children effectively.
Similarly, overemphasizing achievements can lead to performance anxiety, burnout, and an unhealthy attachment to success. Children pressured to succeed at all costs may struggle when they inevitably face setbacks.
Additionally, creating a false sense of security by shielding children from risks prevents them from developing resilience and adaptability—crucial traits for navigating adulthood.
We must prioritize self-care, promote emotional well-being alongside academic success, and allow children to face manageable risks in order to foster growth and independence.
Long-Term Impact of Indiscipline, Happiness, and Independence
Avoiding discipline to prevent conflict can unintentionally teach children that there are no consequences for their actions, leading to behavioral issues. Similarly, focusing exclusively on happiness—without preparing children for life’s complexities—can leave them unprepared to cope with disappointments.
Overprotecting children and stifling their independence further hinders their growth, making them reliant on others for decision-making. To raise confident, responsible children, we must establish clear boundaries and teach the importance of consequences while balancing the pursuit of happiness with lessons in resilience and independence. Encouraging children to make their own decisions and learn from mistakes will help foster independent thinkers who are equipped to navigate the challenges of adulthood.
Dangers of Prioritizing desires Over Child’s Needs
Some parents place their own desires and societal expectations above their children’s emotional and psychological needs. The focus on personal image and external approval can lead to neglect, leaving the child feeling unseen or unloved.
Over time, this emotional neglect impacts the child’s self-worth and development, creating a disconnect within the family. On a broader scale, such behavior fosters a culture of self-interest, where personal gain is prioritized over family cohesion and collective well-being.
Parents must strive for balance by placing their child’s needs at the center and ensuring that their emotional and psychological well-being is nurtured above societal expectations.
As I conclude, Parenting is a delicate responsibility that requires careful attention and intentional actions. While it’s natural to shield our children from hardships and prioritize their happiness, we must acknowledge that overprotecting or overindulging them can lead to long-term negative consequences. By focusing on teaching resilience, independence, and responsibility, we can better equip our children to navigate the complexities of adulthood. These qualities are essential not only for their personal success but also for the well-being of society as a whole.
Through intentional parenting, we can nurture a generation that contributes meaningfully to the future, ensuring a stronger, more prosperous world for everyone.
__________________ Oluwatosin Osemeobo is a passionate lifelong learner, writer, sustainability advocate, and educator with over 15 years of experience in teaching and a strong background in education. He holds a Bachelor of Education from Obafemi Awolowo University (OAU) and a Nigeria Certificate in Education from the College of Education, Zuba. His academic achievements include certifications in Inclusive Leadership from the Open University, UK, and Sustainable Diet from the United Nations Climate Change (UNCC) programme. Additionally, he has earned prestigious certifications from the University of Cambridge in areas such as the UN Convention on Child Rights, Trade Rules, Sustainable Development, and Law, among others. Tosin designs and leads initiatives that use schools as a catalyst for sustainable development and teacher wellbeing. He is the President and Convener of When TEACHERS Pray, a global virtual platform dedicated to the spiritual wellbeing of school communities. Through his writing, advocacy, and community engagement, he empowers schools worldwide to adopt sustainable practices, fostering a future that is socially just, equitable, and environmentally conscious. He is currently living and working with a School in Abuja, Nigeria. Email: tosemeobo@gmail.com Phone: +234 806 561 1550
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